Sunday, August 26, 2007

26 August

Finally went shopping for maternity clothes yesterday at Bluewater. I am seriously growing out of regular clothes, particularly trousers. Managed to get a few good deals especially summer stuff that’s being cleared for autumn lines.

God was I exhausted after all that though.

22 August

Earth to Momma

I’ve been feeling kicks! Butterfly flutters more like but more frequently, especially at night. Bambino is being quite an acrobat these days.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

19 August

M and I have been looking into baby travel systems. We didn't even know baby's had 'systems' to travel with and the shop assistant kindly went through the products very slowly for our benefit. Some of the prices make me hyperventilate - about 700 quid for a Bugaboo (new words in our vocabulary) which is insane. M has been quite inclined to some of these. I don't like Bugaboo but there are some other brands which are so amazing. But I am going to be the sensible one and insist that we settle for for something mid-range.

Anyone can recommend where we can go to get a decent brand in KL?

Saturday, August 18, 2007

13 August

I made crab curry over the weekend. So yum. But paid the price on Sunday as I think my body became too heaty. Gulped down barley like it was going out of fashion as a result.

And today, am forcing some porridge oats down my throat (my mom uses oats as a remedy for almost anything). I agree with b-i-l though that it looks like vomit, health aspects notwithstanding.

Week 16 8 August 2007

Another antenatal today. Duh. Bloody tired by the end of it.

We heard Sprong’s heartbeat through some machine ( I think its called a Doppeler or something) and that was pretty exciting.

I feel really guilty sometimes when I eat rubbish as I just don’t have time to cook with all this stress of editing and upcoming transcontinental move. Been having crazy headaches as well which doesn’t help at all which again I think is triggered by stress.

I really, really need to relax.

Week 15 5 August 2007

Yeah, that’s right. As of Wednesday, we are 15 weeks. Next week, we are 4 months pregnant. Goodness.

Lot’s have been happening including antenatal visit at Whipps Cross (which went pretty okay) and second scan. We saw Sprong moving about happily, playing around in amniotic fluid. Enjoy yourself my bambino.

Pretty exciting especially as Sprong looks more like a human baby now instead of just being a cute alien earlier.

Tuesday 24 July

K and Eunice are in town. Must call them. So many people to meet, so little energy and SO much work.

I feel pretty crap still.

Sunday 22 July

Feel fairly lethargic after yesterday’s shenanigans at Bayswater with KT, AG and Ewok. What fun we had talking nonsense, spanning lunch, tea right down to dinner (M and I drove down thinking we were going for lunch and guess what happened?).

Went for a walk in between, pretending that will help with the calories (yeah right). Everyone used me, the pregnant woman, as an excuse to eat. How shameless are these people!

My nausea was bad in the morning but wore away during the day. Towards late evening, I was feeling more tired than anything else and we called it a day at 9.30 ish.

Friday, July 20

Goodness, how crazy has the week been. Flown by with a bizarre swiftness.

The rain is pelting hard on the roof. It’s one of those days when I like it to rain. It’s charming in its own way. The trees are rustling madly and the sky takes on a sleek, silver mantle. I feel warm and cosy, ensconced at home with a mug of hot Horlicks (yup, no caffeine there).

Felt strangely weepy this morning. Just woke up and wanted to cry and cry away over everything and anything. Grrr…..

Saturday, 14 July

Feeling slightly better. Doesn’t mean that I didn’t throw the cornflakes breakfast out this morning this morning. Maybe it’s the milk, cut down on milk in the morning. That seems to trigger something.

We are not going to St Alban’s for Mohini’s birthday due to current state. I don’t think I want to risk the journey. And to think that I was thinking of going to Kew….besides the weather’s pretty grim.

Feel like having nasi lemak (I think I had a packet every other day when I was back) but can’t muster the drive to Colindale either.

All I really want to do is flop and sleep for England (it’s 11.30 am for heaven’s sake).

Wednesday, 11 July

My current dinner diet consists of toast and jam. It’s the only thing that stays down. Lunch is okay, I gobble something mainly out of hunger, preferably vegetarian. Meat is being a put off really.

After 4 years of marriage, M finally has taken to going for evening walks with me. I think thanks are due to the new Nike shoes purchased from the States. They say the fresh air is good for nausea but honest to god, I came back yesterday after a few rounds in the neighbourhood and threw up within the hour.

I am thinking of going to Kew Gardens this Saturday if the weather holds. Let’s see.

As long as I don’t leave puke in Richmond.

Tuesday, 10 July

This week sees no respite to this immensely crappy feeling that consumes me. M keeps asking me what I want to eat and all I do is snap back to say NOTHING. Just the thought of food, any food makes me sick.

But must plod on with work. In a way, work is good because it keeps me grounded on something. Otherwise, my mind strays into unwanted regions. I was reading Emma’s Diary yesterday (current pregnancy bible) and wandered into those parts about birthing and subsequently bathing the baby right down to potty training. It gave me a surge of palpitations and left me feeling totally hapless. What have I got myself into? How am I going to ever handle this baby thing? Sprong is going to be a living, breathing being totally dependant on ME.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…………………………………

I need to lie down for awhile.

Thursday, 5 July

Seriously beginning to wonder when this dodgy feeling will end.

Wednesday, 4 July

A rare sunlit morning today. It’s been grey gloom, the wettest Wimbledon since 1982. This is going to be the memory of the last summer here. Sigh.

I have officially banned myself from the kitchen and any form of cooking since coming back from Msia as any food smell triggers a puke fest.

I think all this is taking a toll on M. Last night we had a row about something so trivial it was a real waste of time. I think he tries to sympathize with my condition but finds the task of managing everything else ie cooking, cleaning a bit too much to handle. Ivana the cleaner has gone AWOL this week when I need her most. Must get her to come in at least once next week.

Sigh. 3 more weeks and the first trimester is a done deal. Can’t wait to feel better and maybe start enjoying the pregnancy.

Tuesday 3 July

Dear Baby,

The past few days have seen me puking a minimum 3 x a day. Horrible, horrible. It has no timing either, can happen right from the morning till before going to bed.

The only consolation I have is the literature that says that all this nausea means that everything is going okay with you. I am not entirely convinced but nevertheless, have a very matter of fact attitude towards it. I puke, take a few deep breaths and then continue with my editing work.

The editing is going slowly, thanks to the fatigue, nausea and puking. Yesterday, I was terribly light headed to top it all. I have a meeting with A- on Friday and I think that will really set things in motion as to how much editing is going to be needed.

7-30 June

Dear Baby,

We survived the Malaysia trip together. Yeay.

The fatigue was horrible and the plane journey really wore me down, especially the return flight. It felt like the longest 12 hours of my life, not helped by various delays due to the car bombing in Glasgow.

Still it was nice to be pampered at home.

We had our first glimpse of you with a scan at Pantai. You look like a wee little alien baby, all straggling to keep it together. Oh, my baby sprong…that heartbeat is in fab condition. Going dub, dub, dub, dub. Showing off to us already.

You were dated 9 ½ weeks. This date however calculates you as probably being made in Barcelona. Yes, yes. Sarkozy was elected French president and Tony Blair announced that he was resigning that Bank holiday weekend when we tangoed.

I talked to Chinnu the other and she told me that Anoushka was most probably conceived in Barcelona as well! We decided that we must tell people trying to get pregnant to go out there, some fertility streak must be in the air (though deep down I think it could be because it is one of the most fun loving cities which works its magic by relaxing you to the bones and allows you to really let go).

XXXX

KL was impossibly hot. I mean sweltering. Coupled with the traffic. The flash floods. The impossibly bad quality of newspaper reporting.

Is this what M really wants to go back to? Hmmmm…….

My emotions have been really running the gamut. Sometimes even looking at something mundane makes me want to weep uncontrollably. I watched Oprah the other day and started sobbing like it was the end of the world.

The wedding was okay, interspersed by the usual politics and high drama that accompanies such events. Tired me out as well.

Also, realized how caustic some people are but they can seriously f*** off. I am not going to give them importance by being pissed off.

2 June

Dear Baby,

Yesterday was horrible. It was our 4th Anniversary so M was on leave. The best anniversary gift is you, growing gently in my belly.

I slept in the afternoon with just enough time to get ready and go watch The Mousetrap. It wasn’t our day though. The central line was suspended, so we had to take the mainline. At Liverpool Street, we found out that there was no other way into Tottenham Court Road but by bus. It was 25 minutes of the worst ride of my life. Bumpy all the way, I was pale by the time I got out. By this time, I was already light headed so waited at Borders while M went and got the tickets.

We went to a random Malaysian place for dinner (being in the vicinity) and the Char Kueh Teow was seriously a bad idea. There was so much MSG, I had heartburn afterwards.

Anyway, we get to the theatre which started at 8pm. By 8.30, I was nodding off and by 9, we had to leave because I couldn’t imagine mustering the energy to make the trip back home.

So much for the theatre.

31 may 2007

Feeling slightly nauseous today. In the morning. Duh.

30 May 2007

Brrr…it’s been really cold with this interminable rain and freezing wind.

Felt a little better from the constipation troubles yesterday after oats and some M&S apricots which are said to work miracles.

What I have come to realize is the vivid dreams that have been happening almost every night. I think its because of the excess hormones because every night, I dream of really colourful, random crap. It’s not as bad as the peeing though. Last night, I went about four times which has to be one of the worst. And it’s so hard to fall asleep afterwards.

Duh.

29 May 2007

I am officially constipated. But oats has been helping so, must gulp some every night. Sigh.

Today, I feel slightly nauseous. I never thought I would say this but I would rather be all nauseous and ridden with morning sickness but know that everything is okay with you.

Btw, M thinks that my PhD case study is on babycenter.co.uk considering the amount of time being spent there.

28 May 2007

Read this piece online and very relevant for worry wart-self. So, will come back to it every time I am worried about you. Deep breathing also has been very helpful.

XXXX
Anxiety and stress, while common during pregnancy, is not a healthy side effect of pregnancy. There are many reasons you may feel anxious during pregnancy. Along with pregnancy comes the stress during pregnancy and responsibility of carrying a new life into this often chaotic and unpredictable world. Fortunately you don't have to spend every waking moment thinking, obsessing and stressing over your pregnancy. There are several strategies you can adopt to help reduce the anxiety and stress associated with pregnancy.

Common Pregnancy Stress that Causes Anxiety During Pregnancy

Some of us will worry and obsess about the same things over and over again throughout our pregnancies. Below you'll find a list of common pregnancy stressors and tips for overcoming them to ensure an anxiety and stress free pregnancy.

Stressor #1 - Taking on too much work. It's easy to take on too much and cause stress during pregnancy. Above all other times in your life this is the time to take it easy. You can do this by delegating tasks and slowing down to avoid anxiety during pregnancy. Now is not the time to sign up for extra work or overtime if you can avoid it. Don't nominate yourself president of your local Mom's club yet either. You'll have plenty of time for parenting activities when you aren't pregnant.

Stressor #2 - Worry about the baby. It's common and normal for pregnant mothers to worry about the health and well being of your baby causing stress and anxiety during pregnancy. Remember that most pregnancies go off without a hitch. Even if you do experience an unexpected surprise during pregnancy, chances are worrying won't resolve the issue. Make a commitment to yourself not to worry. Try some relaxation and meditation exercises to help relax you throughout your pregnancy. If you have a habit of researching all the frightening rare problems that can arise during pregnancy stop now. Read light hearted and enjoyable materials instead. You and your baby will benefit.

Stressor #3 - Worries about labor and delivery. Women have been giving birth since the dawn of time. You will successfully deliver your baby. Keep telling yourself that. Practice your labor in your mind. Imagine yourself having a complication free delivery. Studies suggest the more you worry and fret about delivery, the more likely you are to experience complications. So stop worrying! Try talking to other moms who have experienced enjoyable labors and deliveries.

Stressor #4 - Worrying about your parenting ability. If this is your first pregnancy then undoubtedly you will work yourself up into a frenzy at least once or twice during your pregnancy regarding your parenting ability. The truth of the matter is whether or not you have any parenting experience, you will figure out what to do when your baby arrives. And whether or not you have family close by, there are plenty of support groups to provide additional advice and support for new moms. So again, don't worry, avoid the pregnancy stress and eliminate your anxiety during pregnancy!

Stressor #5 - Worrying about how clean your house is. Forget about cleaning. Pregnant mothers have a natural inclination toward nesting. This is the desire to clean everything spic and span and prevent unseen germs from entering baby territory. Here again is a situation where anxiety and stress can ruin a perfectly good day. Truthfully speaking everyone has visited someone whose house was not perfectly clean at one time or another. If you are worried about visitors after the baby comes don't. They are there to visit you and the baby, not to inspect how clean your house is. If anything your friends and family should be volunteering to clean for you. After the baby is born take some time away from house chores. The last thing you should worry about is how clean your house looks.

27 May 2007

I think one of the biggest accompaniments of pregnancy is fear. Everyday, right from my waking moment, all manners of fear engulf me. Was I too vigorous, did I move too fast, why did I startle so?

You are much more resilient than I give you credit for baby.

These fears are symptomatic of how much you mean to me, how very much I need to have you.

You are a gift of the most precious kind. I wonder at the miracle that is you, gestating within me.

25 May 2007

25 May 2007

Dearest Baby,

Last week, on Sunday, the 20th of May, I peed on a stick and it turned blue. It has been one of the most defining moments in my life, that blue stick and I was in tears. You see, we’ve been waiting for awhile now for you.

But I was afraid to believe that you were really there, in my tummy. In my mind, the scars of February are still fresh. Where for a short moment, there was a flutter of life and an angel was sent to me for the briefest of times.

So, clutching my heart in my hands, I went to bed that night. Too afraid to be joyful. I did the home pregnancy test again the next day, first thing Monday morning.

And there it was, another, more defined blue. You were telling me that you are here to stay. It’s taken a few days to sink in and as I sit here today, feeling slightly nauseous, I know that we are going to be okay. You and I.

You don’t know how happy you’ve made me feel, you apple pip. Apparently that’s the size you are this week which is week 4/5. But already, you are the biggest presence in my life.

I thank God for this blessing in the form of you. Somewhere, I must have done some good to deserve this. The doctor on Wednesday said that you will be due around Feb 3 2008. That’s going to make you one of those flighty, absurd Aquarians. I am sure that we are going to have fun talking about saving the world and corporate social responsibility which is my other passion in life.

40 more weeks to see you.
 
Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker